BUDAYA  

Cerpen Di Depan Sebuah Toko

Karya Yetti A.KA

FOTO SASTRA 22
(Ilustrasi: I Made Wahyu Friandana/Kompas)

Aku sampai di toko miliknya. Dia memajang mug-mug ramping—sampai aku berpikir benarkah itu sebuah mug? Piring mini. Cangkir-cangkir kecil. Vas bunga berbentuk botol. Seluruhnya bernuansa monokrom, terpajang di bagian depan tokonya, dalam etalase kaca yang isinya tertata rapi. Aku tidak pernah membayangkan itu semua bagian dari dirinya pada hari ini; cara ia menata toko, pilihan bentuk dan warna karyanya yang keluar jauh dari yang kuingat tentangnya.

TOKONYA, pada pukul tiga sore ini, terlihat sepi. Satu karyawannya duduk santai di dekat meja kasir, mengutak-atik kuku-kuku tangannya, seolah hanya itu saja yang bisa ia kerjakan dan pasti sangat bosan dan kebingungan berada di toko yang sepi sepanjang hari. Satu karyawan lain sibuk memastikan barang-barang tertata rapi atau membersihkan kotoran yang mungkin saja menempel pada benda-benda yang dipajang di rak-rak dan barangkali itu sudah dikerjakannya berkali-kali. Aku jadi berpikir sebenarnya ini bukanlah sebuah toko, melainkan galeri atau sebuah tempat pameran yang ia buat untuk memuaskan dirinya. Atau bagaimana kalau ia sengaja membuatnya karena tahu hari ini aku akan datang ke sini dan berdiri beberapa menit untuk mengagumi dan berpikir segala sesuatu tentangnya?

Di hari kedatangannya ke rumah kami, aku yang mengulurkan tangan, tanpa malu-malu menyebut namaku. Aku memang terkenal paling ramah dari semua penghuni rumah. Aku nyaris dekat dengan semua tamu ayahku, murid-muridnya. Teman-teman ibuku senang mengajakku berbicara dan mereka terhibur dan memberiku hadiah-hadiah. Saudara-saudaraku tidak punya kemampuan seperti itu dan lebih sering bersembunyi di kamar ketika ada orang mengetuk pintu, kami berbeda, itu soalnya, dan mereka menganggapku memalukan—itu cara pandang mereka yang kolot, yang menganggap anak-anak harus terus bersikap sopan dan tidak menunjukkan diri sembarangan kecuali dipanggil dan diminta.

Ia datang ke rumah kami untuk belajar seni membuat gerabah pada ayahku. Aku tak menyukai karya ayahku, berupa benda-benda gemuk dalam berbagai bentuk dan umumnya berwarna merah. Namun, pada saat itu, ia justru meniru semua yang ayahku lakukan.

Ketika sedang tak belajar, ia senang bermain dan bercerita kepadaku. Yang paling kuingat, dongeng tentang ibunya yang seorang peramal—juga hampir seluruh keluarganya yang punya kemampuan sama. Menurutnya, ibunya selalu berhasil meramalkan kedatangan seseorang ke rumah mereka—ditambah hal-hal lainnya. Ia juga bercerita ibunya bisa bicara dengan burung-burung dan satu hari terbang bersama rombongan gagak dan tidak pernah kembali sebagaimana yang telah disampaikannya kepada putra-putranya dengan cara bagaimana ia akan mati.

Beberapa malam aku bermimpi tentang perempuan yang terbang bersama para gagak itu. Mata hitam perempuan itu memandang kepadaku. Suara burung-burung gagak memenuhi telingaku. Setelahnya, aku menolak mendengar dongeng-dongeng darinya.

Hari-hari berikutnya, kami nyaris tak lagi bertemu selain di meja makan dan itu pun hanya sesekali karena ayahku dan lelaki itu sering larut dalam pekerjaannya dan datang ketika kami semua sudah membersihkan tangan dan bangkit dari kursi.

Sampai sesuatu terjadi pada ibuku dan aku dikirim ke rumah bibiku. Aku sempat berpikir, selesai sudah. Tak ada yang bisa kulakukan selain menghabiskan hidupku bersama bibiku yang pemurung di rumahnya yang nyaris tak pernah kedatangan siapa pun itu. Bibiku yang tidak menikah, yang secara khusus memintaku tinggal bersamanya—demi kebaikanmu, katanya, sebab kau anak perempuan yang harus belajar aturan-aturan—setelah ibuku ditemukan mati terkapar di tengah jalan, tabrak lari, atau sengaja menabrakkan diri, banyak selentingan yang beredar dan kami tidak betul-betul tahu kebenarannya, selain ibuku sudah tak ada di rumah kami, bagian yang biasa ia tempati sudah kosong, sangat kosong, dan aku menggigil beberapa lama mendapati kenyataan itu.

Di rumah bibiku, aku jadi suka melamun. Terlebih di hari libur sekolah. Aku duduk di tepi tempat tidur atau berdiri di dekat jendela dan melamun panjang. Pada saat-saat itulah aku mengingatnya. Dongeng-dongengnya. Baunya yang agak mirip bau ayahku. Tangannya yang selalu kotor. Tubuhnya yang pucat kurus. Bola matanya yang besar dan hitam—mirip mata ibunya dalam mimpiku. Rambut ikal yang nyaris sebahu dan jarang sekali dicuci hingga menimbulkan aroma asam. Aku hampir tak pernah memikirkan saudara-saudaraku yang memilih sekolah asrama—kata bibiku, anak lelaki tidak masalah di mana pun mereka berada. Juga ayahku yang terakhir kali kulihat rambutnya berubah putih dengan cepat. Sesekali aku ingat pada ibuku dan aku menangis karena merindukannya.

Ibumu pasti bahagia di surga, kata bibiku.

Aku bukan ingin mendengar kalimat seperti itu dari bibiku. Namun, hanya itu yang akan selalu ia katakan tiap menemukanku menangis. Ia tidak punya banyak cara menghadapi seorang remaja bermasalah sepertiku selain kebiasaan yang dilakukan nenekku kepadanya saat ia seusiaku. Ia tidak tahu betapa bergunanya jika ia mengajakku piknik di taman dan ia menyediakan diri mendengarkan isi hatiku atau mengajakku minum teh dalam suasana santai dengan bonus makanan kecil serba manis kesukaanku dan kami membangun pertemanan yang menyenangkan alih-alih menjalin hubungan bibi dan keponakan yang kaku. Namun, bibiku tetaplah bibiku yang tidak akan pernah berubah oleh apa pun, sebab ia amat keras kepala—dan belakangan aku menemukan sifat itu melekat dalam diriku.

Aku kembali ke rumahku begitu aku genap berusia lima belas tahun. Meninggalkan bibiku yang tampak tak rela melepaskanku sedetik saja kepada ayahku. Namun, aku demam, sudah lebih dari seminggu, dan itu menjadi alasan aku harus pulang bersama ayahku, tidur di kamarku yang sejuk dan dekat dengan ibuku yang rasanya masih menghuni semua sudut rumah kami.

Ia tentu masih di sana, belajar dengan tekun di bengkel kerja ayahku. Tubuhnya makin pucat, kurus, dan sedikit bungkuk. Ia sedang mengecat benda gemuknya saat aku berkata, apa kau masih mengingatku? Ia mengangkat mukanya yang lebih pucat dari yang kuperkirakan. Usianya sudah tiga puluh tahun. Tampak jauh lebih tua. Aku tahu kau akan kembali, ujarnya. Aku menangis dan menghambur kepadanya. Kukatakan kalau aku tidak suka hidup bersama bibiku, jika sampai ayahku mengirimku lagi ke sana, ia harus menolongku.

Dan ayahku pun tidak pernah mengirimku kembali kepada bibiku.

Hari-hari menyenangkan dalam hidupku dimulai lagi. Aku sudah betul-betul sembuh dari demamku. Aku jadi lebih sering mengganggunya saat ia sedang bekerja. Memaksanya membantuku memotong-motong kain untuk tugas keterampilan yang belum sempat kukerjakan dan harus segera kukirimkan kepada bibiku yang akan mengantarnya ke sekolah untuk melengkapi nilaiku sebelum surat pindahku dikeluarkan. Aku sudah tidak takut lagi dengan dongeng-dongeng gelapnya. Ia bisa saja bercerita tentang ibunya yang seorang penyihir atau ratu kalajengking atau apa pun yang lebih menyeramkan dari itu.

Sore itu, aku mencarinya di bengkel kerja. Ayahku sedang keluar, membeli cat atau sejenis itu. Ia sendirian menekuri pekerjaannya. Bengkel ayahku penuh dengan hasil kerajinannya yang sebagian besar akan dipamerkan. Juga bau khas tanah liat yang sebenarnya cukup enak dan udara beraroma abu pembakaran, tapi tak membuatku tertarik untuk menjadi bagian dari tempat itu, terlebih mengikuti jejak ayahku.

Apakah Ayah akan pergi lama? tanyaku kepadanya sambil menendang-nendangkan kakiku dengan sikap bosan.

Ayahmu mungkin singgah ke rumah teman, itu yang dikatakannya sebelum pergi, ujarnya tanpa mengangkat wajah. Ia tampak sangat sibuk. Dan aku berkata bahwa aku akan terus berada di bengkel sebab hari Minggu ini terlalu sepi di rumah dan seharusnya ia tak perlu bekerja, tidak bisakah kita bermain, mencari serangga atau apalah? tanyaku.

Tidak bisa, katanya. Itu kali pertama aku mendengar penolakannya secara terang-terangan dan aku merasa ada yang berubah darinya dan tak berapa lama dari hari itu, aku kembali mendengar ia berkata, tidak bisa, Marin. Waktu itu aku minta padanya untuk menjadi pacarku yang bisa kupamerkan di acara ulang tahun temanku. Gadis lima belas tahun meminta lelaki tiga puluh tahun menjadi pacar, aku tidak tahu apa yang kupikirkan ketika itu, tapi itu yang kukatakan dan ia ketakutan setengah mati dan meninggalkan rumah kami keesokan harinya. Dalam sebuah buku aku menulis namanya sebagai cinta pertama yang tidak akan kulupakan.

Karyawan toko yang tadi duduk di dekat meja kasir memiringkan tubuhnya dan melihat kepadaku. Aku ingin bertanya, apakah pemilik toko akan datang hari ini, tapi karyawan itu keburu menolehkan pandangannya pada temannya yang masih saja sibuk membersihkan debu, mereka membicarakan sesuatu, lalu semua kembali seperti biasa seolah kehadiranku bukan hal yang perlu mereka perhatikan, misalnya menawariku untuk masuk, melihat-lihat barang, dan membujuk agar aku membawa pulang satu atau dua.

Aku mendengar banyak kabar samar setelah kepergiannya pada hari itu. Ia dikabarkan menikah dengan seorang perempuan yang ditemuinya dalam sebuah pameran dan berpisah setelah lima tahun hidup bersama. Pada tahun-tahun itu, hidupku cukup kacau. Ayahku menikahi bibiku dan membawanya tinggal bersama di rumah kami. Setelah lulus sekolah aku meninggalkan rumah dan belajar seni kriya di sebuah kampus di kota besar dan mulai tergila-gila dengan karya Kathy Butterly yang banyak mempengaruhiku—sesuatu yang tidak kusangka-sangka, tapi aku berjalan begitu saja ke arah sana. Kemudian aku menikah dengan guruku dan sekarang kami memiliki dua orang putra.

Ayahku sakit. Itu yang membawaku pulang ke kota ini—kota yang ingin kulupakan. Ayahku yang bercerita tentangnya, juga tentang toko ini, dan entah akan berapa lama lagi aku berdiri di sini dengan ingatan-ingatan yang terus bermunculan dan tahu-tahu seseorang telah berdiri di belakangku, berbisik: aku tahu kau akan kembali.

Aku tidak segera menoleh, tapi aku menghirup baunya dalam-dalam dan rasanya, kali ini, tak bisa kulepaskan.***

Yetti A.KA lahir di Bengkulu. Kumpulan cerpen terbarunya, Ketua Klub Gosip dan Anggota Kongsi Kematian (2020). Selain menulis, ia bekerja dan menjadi relawan di lembaga nirlaba Yayasan Jortah Indonesia, sebuah lembaga yang fokus melakukan penggalangan dana publik untuk membantu biaya pendidikan anak-anak dari keluarga tidak mampu. Saat ini, ia menetap di Kota Padang, Sumatera Barat.

I Made Wahyu Friandana lahir di Denpasar, 17 April 1995. Enam kali pameran di dalam dan di luar negeri. Terakhir, pada 2019 lalu, pemeran “Kata Rupa” di Taman Budaya Bali.

Sumber: Kompas, 13 Desember 2020/Lakonhidup.com

Respon (181)

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