PEDIH, melihat wanita yang sangat dicintainya terbujur kaku tak bernyawa. Pilu, menyaksikan perut sang jenazah yang mulai kelihatan membuncit karena hamil. Lebih mengiris hati, menyadari kenyataan calon jabang bayi di perut itu bukan dari benihnya. Luka hati yang sangat perih dan kobaran amarah di tempurung kepala Maman membuat laki-laki itu terpaku seperti patung batu. Orang-orang terus mengalir berdatangan mengungkapkan dukacita, menyampaikan penghiburan, atau sekadar hadir melihat. Rumah yang belum sepenuhnya jadi karena dindingnya masih belum diplester semen itu pun ramai dalam kedukaan.
Mata Maman kosong menatap jenazah istrinya, membawa mundur kisah yang berakhir tragis ini. Maman masih ingat benar siang pada akhir November empat tahun lalu. Saat di mana ia pulang dari tempatnya bekerja dengan tubuh lemas tak berdaya. Perusahaan tempat Maman bekerja bangkrut dan ia kena PHK. Bersama rasa panik yang menggayut di benaknya, Maman pontang-panting menghidupi istri dan seorang anaknya yang masih berumur dua tahun. Tiga bulan nihil tidak dapat pekerjaan, sementara uang pesangon nyaris tak bersisa, Maman akhirnya menyerah. Atas desakan Asih, istrinya, Maman angkat kaki dari Jakarta, pulang kampung ke rumah mertuanya.
Pulang kampung dengan embel-embel karena gagal di rantau membuat Maman seperti ditelanjangi di tempat ramai. Rasa malu itu semakin sempurna setelah berbulan-bulan kemudian Maman belum mendapatkan pekerjaan tetap. Ijazahnya yang hanya setingkat sekolah lanjutan pertama serta pengalaman kerjanya sebagai office boy sama sekali tidak memberi pengaruh mendapatkan pekerjaan.
Sambil terus berusaha, Maman mencoba bersabar tinggal menumpang di rumah mertuanya yang juga dihuni keluarga kakak iparnya. Kadang-kadang, dari tatap matanya menyiratkan ketidaksukaan atau mungkin penghinaan. Maman memang tidak punya pilihan. Kedua orang tuanya di ujung timur Pulau Jawa sudah lama meninggal dunia. Tanah sepetak tempat sebuah rumah reyot yang merupakan satu-satunya harta peninggalan orang tuanya kini dihuni oleh keluarga adik semata wayangnya dengan kondisi ekonomi tak lebih baik.
Malam itu menjadi malam yang paling panjang yang tidak mungkin Maman lupakan. Dalam gelap, dada Maman basah oleh air mata Asih. “Bukan aku tak menghargai kamu, tapi sampai saat ini, kamu belum dapat kerja dengan penghasilan tetap. Kalau aku dan kamu mungkin bisa menahan rasa lapar atau keinginan akan sesuatu, tapi tidak untuk anak kita. Aku paling tidak tahan ketika ia menginginkan seperti yang dimakan atau dimiliki kakak-kakak sepupunya. Sebagai ibunya, hatiku seperti diiris-iris karena tidak dapat membelikannya, bahkan untuk sesuatu yang harganya tidak mahal karena kita sama sekali tak punya uang. Aku hanya ingin kita bisa keluar dari situasi sulit ini selagi kamu belum mendapatkan jalan. Kalau kamu memberi izin, aku berniat berangkat ke Timur Tengah…,” isak Asih.
Tidak ada kata dalam kalimat Asih yang mampu membangkitkan kemarahan. Tapi entahlah, Maman merasa ulu hatinya ngilu seperti tertembus ribuan jarum. Asih sama sekali tidak menyalahkan Maman. Bahkan, Asih minta izin seandainya Maman memberikannya. Pada saat matanya berkaca-kaca, Maman hanya mampu membatin, Ya Allah, terima kasih telah memberiku seorang istri sebaik ini….
Malam itu Maman memang tidak memberi jawaban secara lisan, namun dari pelukan yang dipereratnya, Asih tahu suaminya memberinya izin meskipun dengan berat hati. Rencana berangkat ke Arab Saudi itu pun tidak dengan mudah terlaksana. Maman dan Asih harus pontang-panting mencari pinjaman.
Ketidakberdayaan atau lebih tepatnya kemiskinan, sering membawa orang untuk mengambil keputusan dan mengawali sesuatu dengan linangan air mata. Itu pula yang terjadi pada Maman dan Asih. Asih berangkat dengan berurai air mata. Maman melepas kepergian istrinya dengan isi dada berkeping-keping. Ditinggal pergi istrinya sejauh itu tidak pernah terbayangkan oleh Maman. Kemiskinan telah membuat orang yang semestinya ia nafkahi dan lindungi harus membanting tulang di negeri seberang yang kadang-kadang dengan taruhan kehormatan atau bahkan nyawa.
Menjadi orang tua tunggal dan tinggal menumpang di rumah mertua benar-benar menguji kesabaran Maman. Apalagi, pada minggu-minggu awal kepergian Asih, Dini sering rewel ingat ibunya. Sebisa mungkin Maman merawat dan menghidupi Dini. Menjadi kuli panggul di pasar, menjadi kenek tukang batu, hingga tukang gali kuburan Maman lakoni demi mengisi perut agar tidak kelaparan.
Memasuki bulan keenam sepucuk surat dari Asih diterima Maman. Isinya singkat, namun cukup banyak menghalau kekhawatiran Maman. Asih bekerja pada sebuah keluarga di Madinah. Selain memasak, membersihkan rumah, mencuci, dan menyetrika, tugas Asih juga merawat orang tua si empunya rumah yang sudah jompo. Pekerjaan yang terakhir ini yang ditulis Asih paling berat karena berlangsung selama 24 jam.
Dua bulan kemudian, surat kedua datang. Kali ini diikuti kiriman sejumlah uang. Setelah digunakan untuk membayar utang-utangnya, Maman membeli sepeda motor bekas untuk mengojek. Sejak menjadi tukang ojek di pasar, Maman memiliki penghasilan tetap. Maman memang tidak ingin berpangku tangan menikmati uang kiriman istrinya dari Arab. Untuk keperluan sehari-hari, Maman dan anaknya sudah bisa dicukupi dari hasil mengojek.
Kiriman uang yang boleh dikatakan rutin dari Arab serta didukung sikap hemat Maman, pada tahun kedua, berhasil membeli sepetak tanah tidak jauh dari rumah mertuanya. Maman juga sudah memiliki handphone sehingga Asih kadang-kadang menelepon langsung dari Arab. Setahun kemudian, sebuah rumah berhasil Maman bangun meskipun belum selesai benar. Beberapa bulan setelah menempati rumah baru, suatu malam, Asih menelepon dan mengabarkan majikan jompo yang selama ini ia rawat telah meninggal dunia. Asih juga menjelaskan kemungkinan besar ia berganti majikan.
Sejak malam itu, komunikasi terputus. Tiga bulan kemudian, Asih kembali menelepon dan mengatakan ia sekarang bekerja pada sebuah keluarga polisi. Komunikasi kembali terputus, bahkan kiriman uang pun berhenti. Maman kembali khawatir. Hampir setahun Maman kehilangan jejak Asih hingga dua minggu lalu, handphone-nya kembali berbunyi oleh nomor yang tidak dikenal. Ternyata suara Asih. Tak seperti biasanya, kali ini suara Asih tertahan-tahan kebingungan. Meskipun Asih mengatakan bahwa lusa akan pulang, kelegaan Maman berubah menjadi rasa takut.
Ketidakjelasan pesawat yang ditumpangi Asih membuat Maman, Dini, kedua mertua, serta kakak iparnya keleleran di bandara. Dengan mobil sewaan, mereka sebenarnya sudah kuyu menempuh perjalanan semalaman. Setelah dari pagi menunggu, baru sekitar pukul delapan malam, Maman melihat Asih. Namun, tidak serta-merta Maman bisa menemui istrinya.
Asih memeluk Maman dalam tangis yang sulit dipahami. Gembira, sedih, atau takut. Sekilas Maman melihat tubuh istrinya sedikit lebih gemuk dan…. Ah, Maman berusaha membuang jauh-jauh prasangka buruknya. Sepanjang perjalanan pulang, seisi mobil itu pun lebih banyak diam. Kegembiraan sebuah pertemuan setelah sekian tahun tidak bertemu tiba-tiba menguap entah ke mana. Malam itu malam kedua setibanya Asih di rumah. Saat itu, Dini sudah terlelap. Asih menangis dan berlutut mencium kaki suaminya. Dengan suara bergetar Maman berkata, “Kamu hamil?”
“Mengapa kamu tidak marah? Mengapa kamu tidak memaki-maki aku? Mengapa kamu tidak memukuli aku? Aku istri yang bejat! Kamu seharusnya menghajarku hingga babak belur! Kalau perlu, injak-injak saja perutku ini hingga keluar semua kebusukan dan aib dari dalamnya. Seharusnya aku tidak takut ketika dia mengancamku dengan pisau. Seharusnya aku atau dia yang mati….” rintih Asih dengan tubuh berguncang-guncang.
Asih menunggu makian, pukulan, atau tendangan suaminya, namun apa yang diharapkannya itu tidak kunjung tiba. Asih justru mendapati suaminya itu berjongkok dan mengangkatnya berdiri.
“Istighfar….” bisik Maman dengan suara tercekat. Laki-laki itu kemudian bergegas membuka pintu dan duduk tepekur di teras rumah hingga Subuh menjelang.
Setelah shalat Subuh, seperti biasanya Maman berangkat mengojek. Dua hari Maman tidak berangkat bekerja karena kedatangan Asih. Maman tidak berpamitan kepada Asih karena ia tidak tega membangunkan istrinya yang masih terlelap memeluk Dini. Mungkin Asih semalaman juga susah tidur atau bahkan kecapaian menangis.
Sekitar pukul 10 pagi, Maman menerima SMS dari Asih. Asih menulis, Maafkan ak tlh lakukn jln spt ni. Kmu trlalu baik ntuk trm smua aib ni. Aq titip Dini ya. Tanpa berpikir panjang lagi, Maman bergegas pulang. Seorang ibu yang akan diantarkan pulang dari pasar ditinggalkannya begitu saja. Ada perasaan tidak enak yang tiba-tiba membuat Maman seperti mendapat firasat buruk.
Tiba di rumah, Maman mendapati semua pintu dan jendela terkunci. Maman sebenarnya sudah bisa membuka kunci pintu dengan anak kunci yang dibawanya, namun daun pintu tidak bisa terkuak karena sepertinya diselot dari dalam. Maman menggedor-gedor pintu sambil memanggil-manggil istrinya. Seorang tetangga keluar rumah mendengar suara ribut. Wanita setengah baya itu pun memberi laporan bahwa Asih setengah jam yang lalu mengajak Dini keluar rumah. Bisa jadi menitipkan Dini ke rumah kakek-neneknya karena sebentar kemudian Asih balik lagi dan tidak keluar-keluar rumah lagi. Laporan tetangga itu semakin membuat Maman khawatir. Maman pun mendobrak pintu rumahnya.
Ketika daun pintu berhasil dibuka, detik selanjutnya tubuh Maman terhuyung lemas. Bukan karena kehilangan keseimbangan akibat mendobrak pintu, melainkan karena melihat pemandangan yang terpampang di depan mukanya. Tubuh Asih sedikit berayun-ayun, menggantung pada seutas tali yang menjerat lehernya. Asih bunuh diri!
Maman menyeka air mata yang perlahan turun di pipinya. Tidak digubrisnya saran atau suruhan orang-orang di sekitarnya untuk menuntut pertanggungjawaban kepada orang-orang yang dianggap bersalah. Ada yang menyuruhnya menuntut pada majikan Asih yang di Arab, ada yang menyuruh Maman agar menuntut perusahaan pengerah tenaga kerja yang memberangkatkan Asih, dan ada pula yang mendukung Maman agar menuntut pemerintah karena tidak becus melindungi warganya sehingga diperlakukan sewenang-wenang. Maman menghargai simpati kerabat dan tetangganya itu, namun ia lebih memikirkan bagaimana caranya bisa memanfaatkan apa yang ia punya untuk masa depan Dini daripada menggunakan uangnya untuk mengurus hal-hal yang hasilnya pun belum pasti. Bukankah di negeri ini segala sesuatunya membutuhkan uang? Bukankah sudah jamak pula di negeri ini yang hitam jadi putih dan yang putih jadi hitam?
Maman terperenyak ketika pundaknya ditepuk perlahan oleh seseorang. Seorang bapak yang menepuk pundak Maman itu berkata bahwa jenazah Asih sebaiknya segera diberangkatkan. Maman mengangguk kuyu dan berjalan tertatih mengantarkan jenazah istrinya ke pemakaman, mengantarkannya pulang ke Sang Khalik. ***
Sumber: Republika, 20 November 2011
Pirngadi, lahir di Pati, 27 Agustus 1967. Lulusan Fakultas Sastra Indonesia, Universitas Diponegoro, Semarang, ini adalah penulis naskah, editor, koordinator editor Penerbit Kelapa Cengkir Raya (Intan Pariwara Group) di Jakarta, scriptwriter Radio Super FM dan Kamajaya FM di Jakarta. Sejumlah karyanya pernah dimuat di sejumlah surat kabar dan majalah remaja.
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