Sekadar Refleksi: tentang Anak – Permata Hati Kita

Oleh Ipah Latipah, M.Pd.

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(Ilustrasi: Istimewa)

BERBICARA tentang dunia anak adalah berbicara tentang seribu makna. Tentang keceriaan, keriangan, kelucuan, kepolosan, kecerdikan, kreativitas mereka, bahkan bisa jadi kejengkelan orang tua, kelelahan orang tua, ketidakberdayaan orang tua dan banyak lagi makna-makna yang tersimpan dalam definisi anak. Betapapun, anak adalah harta berharga yang Allah amanahkan kepada mereka yang punya banyak persediaan cinta. Karena, dengan cintalah, semestinya anak dibesarkan. Apa yang paling membahagiakan bagi pasangan suami-istri? Adalah tentunya ketika mereka dipercayai Allah untuk merawat seorang anak. Dan apa lagi yang paling membahagiakan mereka? Tentunya ketika anak mereka sempurna, baik secara fisik maupun kepribadiannya. Sederhananya, ketika anak-anak mereka adalah anak-anak yang manis perilakunya, baik sifatnya, terkendali tindakannya, sehat fisiknya, cerdas akalnya. Sebuah keinginan dan harapan yang tentunya sangat wajar. Namun, bagaimanapun kondisi “titipan Allah” tersebut, tetap saja mereka adalah anugrah terindah yang Allah berikan.

Berbicara tentang anak juga berbicara tentang pendidikan yang terasa gampang-gampang sulit. Pendidikan yang sungguh luar biasa melibatkan emosi dan ego orang dewasa/orang tua yang sering kali dalam trans aksinya dengan emosi dan ego anak tidak berjalan seimbang. Bahkan bisa jadi dirasakan saling menyakiti. Disadari atau tidak, banyak orang tua yang berusaha keras untuk memola anak secara paksa. Usaha untuk menanamkan kedisiplinan, kemandirian, dan nilai-nilai etis pada anak, bukanlah hal keliru bahkan mulia dan menjadi satu keharusan, akan tetapi seringkali cara yang digunakan tidak efektif, bahkan mungkin justru membuat anak lebih ingin melawan daripada mendengarkan, lebih siap menentang daripada menaati arahan kata-kata dan bimbingan orang tuanya.

Betapa seringnya ekspresi marah tampak di wajah orang tua, dan terkadang tangan pun ikut bicara menarik kasar lengan anak ketika mereka sedang belajar dalam kebermainannya, ketika mereka sedang asyik menikmati eksistensinya, ketika mereka sedang menggali potensi dirinya dan ketika mereka sedang belajar mencintai dirinya. Di hadapan orang dewasa, kata-kata dan pikiran anak seringkali hanya sebagai celoteh belaka, mungkin ditanggapi dengan “senyum ragu” selanjutnya dibiarkan berlalu. Padahal, sungguh menit-menit kebersamaan anak dengan orang tua –yang mungkin bagi orang tua tidaklah berarti dan dilupakan- sangatlah berpengaruh bagi kehidupan anak. Tidaklah tepat, jika usaha orang tua dalam mendidik anak dengan mengabaikan jiwa, perasaan dan pikiran anak sendiri. Dan akhirnya menjadi tidak amanah, jika orang tua justru –disadari atau tidak- ikut memadamkan kreativitas dan inisiatif anak.

Terdapat sejumlah faktor eksternal yang dapat menghambat perkembangan inisiatif anak, di antaranya yaitu:

– tuntutan kepada anak di luar kemampuannya;

– sikap keras orang tua dalam memperlakukan anak;

– terlalu banyak larangan dalam usaha belajar dan bermain anak;

– anak kurang mendapat dorongan/peluang untuk menyatakan pendapat, perasaan dan keinginannya.

Sekurang-kurangnya terdapat lima prinsip effective parenting (perlakuan orang tua yang efektif)[1], yaitu:

1. menyusun/membuat standar (aturan perilaku) yang tinggi namun dipahami. Dalam hal ini anak diharapkan untuk berperilaku dengan cara yang tepat sesuai dengan usianya;

2. menaruh perhatian terhadap perilaku anak yang baik dan memberikan reward. Perlakuan ini perlu dilakukan sebagai pengganti dari kebiasaan orang tua pada umumnya, yaitu bahwa mereka suka menaruh perhatian kepada anak pada saat anak berperilaku menyimpang, namun membiarkannya ketika melakukan yang baik. Tidak memberikan apresiasi dan afirmasi (penguatan);

3. menjelaskan alasan/ tujuannya, ketika meminta anak untuk melakukan sesuatu;

4. mendorong anak untuk menelaah dampak perilakunya terhadap orang lain;

5. menegakkan aturan secara konsisten.Kelemahan orang tua adalah sering tidak konsisten/ istiqomah ketika menerapkan aturan pada anak. Kadang-kadang tegas, tetapi kadang-kadang longgar. Sehingga perilaku anak pun menjadi tidak stabil.

Mendidik anak memang bukanlah perkara mudah, sangat dibutuhkan kesabaran yang tanpa batas. Tetapi bagaimanapun sulitnya, kita mesti ingat bahwa setiap sikap, perilaku, nilai etis dan positif yang kita ajarkan pada mereka sangat berpengaruh pada perkembangan anak.***

[1] Syamsu Yusuf. (2001). Psikologi Perkembangan Anak & Remaja. Bandung: Rosda.

 Ipah Latipah, M.Pd.,  Guru BK SMPN 1 Batujajar Kabupaten Bandung Barat.

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