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Suheryana Bae, (Foto: Dok. Pribadi).

Oleh Suheryana

3 April 2018 – 06.42

SETENGAH abad menghuni bumi. Bergelut. Bertempur. Berjuang untuk sebuah kehidupan –duniawi– yang dicita-citakan. Sekolah, belajar, kuliah, melewatkan beberapa momen kehidupan manusiawi, dan sebagainya.

Hari ini sudah di pertengahan, mungkin di ujung jalan. Mau tidak mau, inilah kondisinya. Beberapa kesempatan telah lewat, rasa penasaran di belakang, beberapa keinginan di masanya tidak mungkin terulang. Kegagahan, kesegaran, kebeliaan, cinta remaja, kesempatan mengembangkan diri di usianya, dan apapun sudah menjadi masa lalu.

Apakah masih memelihara keinginan dan mimpi yang kadaluarsa. Tentu tidak. Hari ini saatnya hidup di hari ini. Kata kuncinya adalah bahagia. Letaknya adalah di hati dan pemikiran. Di dalam. Bukan pada benda-benda atau posisi khayali.

Maka inilah belokan tajam. Aku telah tiba di sini. Lebih pada meresapi, bersyukur, mengendalikan diri, menata hati, memilah keinginan. Lebih pada menata di dalam bukan mencari kebahagiaan di luar. Seperti kata Gandhi, “kesederhanaan itu murah, sehingga kebutuhan terbatas dan diri menjadi ringan untuk memperjuangkan idealisme.”

Selasa, 6 Oktober 2020 – 05.04

Kebenaran satu hal. Mencari kebenaran adalah hal lainnya. Pada saat menjadi tua untuk ukuran kemaren, aku ingin menggapai kehidupan yang lebih baik. Maqomnya aktualisasi diri, fully functioning person, manusia kaffah. Bukan retorika. Itulah arah. Pedoman sekaligus tujuan.

Suatu fase kehidupan yang lain setelah fase meniru, fase belajar, fase berjuang. Inilah fase menuju kesempurnaan. Suatu kehidupan yang nyaman, yang diidam-idamkan, yang sangat dikehendaki, dan seharusnya menjadi cita-cita setiap manusia.

Tidak cukup dengan kerja keras. Tidak cukup dengan kecukupan, popularitas, dan jabatan. Ada suatu fase hidup lain yang tersembunyi di balik jalan-jalan terjal kehidupan. Fase kehidupan yang tidak dilihat banyak orang, kehidupan yang senyatanya, sejatinya. Kehidupan yang terbebas dari tipuan-tipuan duniawiyah.

Mungkin kehidupan yang sunyi. Jauh dari sorak sorai, puja-puji, seremoni, gemerlap, keramaian. Namun kehidupan yang nyaman, tenteram, dan berharga bagi jiwa kemanusiaan.

11 Nopember 2020

Kehidupan selesai ketika keinginan terkubur bersama usia. Gairah mengendap bersama akal sehat. Birahi terkendali norma-norma.

Satu fase kehidupan. Satu maqom yang dicapai ketika usia menjelang senja.

Maka perempuan cantik adalah keindahan yang mengagumkan dan membuat mata menatap. Berhenti di sini. Bahwa jabatan tidak lagi merasa perlu dipamerkan dan atau diperjuangkan. Bahwa popularitas dan kekaguman orang terasa hambar. Bahwa uang dibutuhkan tetapi tidaklah tujuan utama. Semua berhenti di titiknya.

Ada sesuatu yang baru. Harapan yang bukan sekadar pemenuhan nafsu manusia duniawi. Sesuatu yang lebih walaupun belum dapat dirumuskan. Pencapaian baru yang mengajak kaki melangkah ke pencarian yang baru.***

Suheryana terlahir di desa tetapi bercita-cita menjadi penulis. Takdir membawanya ke pencapaian lain. Berkarier sebagai PNS di Pangandaran dan menjadi Asisten Administrasi Umum.

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